Changing My Mind...I Mean My Plot...

Dealing with Indecision

As an author, a female, and what I like to think of as a creatively OCD chic, there are a shitload of thoughts, characters (that I think of as actual people), having conversations, living their lives, hearts breaking, love interests disappearing, happily ever afters, serious steamy sex scenes, plot lines and ideas that are constantly and randomly running through my brain. 

There's been so many freaking occasions where, no kidding, I've been in the shower, washing dishes, vacuuming the house, driving to pick up my boys from school, or miliseconds away from sleep, and I'll have a literary epiphany, an entire scene, conversation or story idea. And absolutely no way to write it down. To notate the awesomeness of my creativity. So I lose the very essence of it, time and again.

I've told my hubby over and over again, that I wish there was some kind of AI technology available, like in Star Trek (Captain's Log, Stardate Month of the Libra, first day, hours before end of day. There seems to be...copious amounts of moisture falling from a...strange, round looking object...protruding from the wall, with holes in it. Lt. WannaLicMe has droplets gathering and falling over her very rounded....) so I can literally say 'Record this...blah blah blah, his big cock...blah, blah, blah...He saw her issues and blah, blah, blah.

But I have, since finally deciding to write down all the crap banging around in my head, purchased a notebook, pink and black of course, and I've tried to keep track of the psychotically sexy and heartbreaking thoughts that always seem to grab hold of me at the worst times. Hands dripping with sudsy dish water, or body covered in shampoo being rinsed from my long ass freaking hair that my hubby won't let me cut. Not that I ever would, but still. Running out of the shower, dripping wet, while the hubby is staring at me, shell shocked as I open the computer and start tapping away, instead of jumping his bones, has been a little confusing for my man.

So when I've finally put pen to paper, so to speak, and expressed my thoughts, emotions and feelings, creating a story that hopefully will one day be shared with and loved by readers, it really pisses me the eff off when I morph into being all that the world says a woman is and change my freaking mind. I mean, at this point I've created the H and h, usually have an idea of their character traits and what crap in their life has shaped them into who they are when the book starts. But then I want to change the location, the antagonist, the reason the h doesn't wanna connect with the H, and I think, WTF?!

I mean, seriously, could I stop being a chic for the few months it takes to write a book!?!?!

And now? I'm writing two different stories. At the same time. 

I seriously need all the alpha badassness of my H's to kick MY ass into writing their dang stories already, and stop second guessing myself.....

If only Declan, Jonathan and Jason actually could. :)

FYI ~ Jonathan & Sophie and Jason & Lucy are laughing indugently at me while I flounder. Knowing they'll have their say. So stay tuned, cause although I can be a little nutty, the lessons they've learned, and the way they've learned them, is a beautiful thing. And they can't wait for you to read about them. 

You know, when I finally pull my thumb out.



#TiffanyLeeAuth, #DeclanTheRyans